This post is not necessarily about business or entrepreneurship but, life in general. There comes a point in life when your plans are not forthcoming. The way we want our life to be is nothing but a far stretched dream. As a child, we dreamt of being successful, living in a mansion, married with beautiful kids with probably a private jet parked at our backyards. I don’t know about you but I did. We never for once thought we would struggle to make money. We thought we only had to work hard. I’m sure our definition of working hard was nothing compared what we are facing now.
For me, my first job was at a bank. I got it without blinking and people wondered how I did it. From then onwards, I thought life would be great and I was one step forward in owning my own private jet. I remember my favourite TV show was Celebrity Cribs on MTV. Boy, I would fantasise all day about how massive my future home would be with puppies running everywhere. When I turned 26, I left the bank due to it been acquired and reality hit me on the head with a sledgehammer.
The word struggle was an understatement. You know when you just have to take a sit and ponder on your life wondering what you did wrong, who you offended or what exact sin(s) you committed that made Karma so mad.
We see other people making it with them putting little or no effort and we wonder why the world just hates us. They have the perfect job, marriage, kids and beautiful homes. We start to compare ourselves. To be better, we start watching TV shows on “how to make our lives better“, listen to motivational podcasts or read books. All these just to be successful.
The one rule I try to live by is never to wish for another man’s blessings. We see a successful individual and we subconsciously start to wish we had all or a quarter of their wealth. What most of us don’t understand is that we might not be able to walk a mile in those people’s shoes. We don’t know the root of their wealth. It just might be good or bad. Their struggles to get to where they are might kill us in a heartbeat. The sacrifices they’ve made might be incomprehensible. You just don’t know.
Instead of worrying about what might or could be, try focusing on what you can do to better yourself. The problem sometimes is that we have too many dreams. We want to be a lot of things at the same time. Put aside wealth for once and be grateful for what you have. The little you have is another man’s greatest dream. If only the dead could dream.
A famous Yoruba Proverbs says; A kì í wo ago aláago ṣiṣẹ (Don’t work with someone else’s clock). Trust the timing of your life. It’s what makes YOU! My time is different from your time and just because you or society says you are not where you ought to be in life doesn’t make you LATE. The most important thing is that you get there. Yes, we are not getting any younger but it could be worse. It is better to be comfortable in life than chasing riches.
Separate yourself from failure. Just because you haven’t found a successful way of doing something (yet) doesn’t mean you are a failure. Personalising failure can inflict destruction on your confidence and self-esteem. Obsessing over your failure will not change the outcome. If for anything, it will intensify the outcome, trapping you emotionally from moving on. Most often, our fear of failure is fixed in our fear of being judged. We easily get influenced by what people say about us.
You cannot change the past, but you can shape your future. If the people that surround you are making it, why not talk to them to find out how. Pick the advice that matches your personality (don’t do anything stupid) and take a positive step forward. The quicker you leave these incapacitating thoughts behind, the better your life will be henceforth. Remember, this is YOUR LIFE.