I was speaking to my best friend Temi recently and she said something to me that got me thinking all day. She said to me “Buky, are we friends because we enjoy being around each other or are we friends because we are going through similar problems?”
Well, I wasn’t expecting that…
Thinking about it, why are we really friends with our best mates?
Let me start with why I’m best friends with Temi…
For one obvious reason, she is out-of-this-world FUNNY!!! I don’t understand how a human being can be this funny. She genuinely makes me laugh so hard my tummy hurts. She says the most honest and crazies things in the funniest way ever. If you know me well, I love to laugh. It’s my medicine for all things sad and annoying.
Secondly, she loves God to a fault. This is something I am grateful for and the fact that I have someone around me who does increases my love for Jesus. Because of her, I am more conversant with my Bible.
Thirdly, we speak in our own crazy language. It’s English with a twist which makes the conversation more enjoyable. We talk every day regardless of the fact that we are on two different continents.
Fourthly, asides being nice, caring, blunt and hardworking, she has her annoying moments when she blanks out for months at a stretch. But, the moment we start talking again, it’s like we never stopped talking. Catching up is never a problem between us.
With this said, what about the mutual problems we have? Does this count for friendship? In my honest opinion, I would say YES!
Personally, I try not to discuss problems with people who are not going through the same. I might seek opinions in cases where I feel I might have overacted or not thought things through. But, I believe that you alone understand how you feel, others can only empathise. We find it easier to talk to people who have been through or going through similar situations. Talking to people who don’t really understand you makes you feel like you are in therapy and most times we don’t want that.
For me, the problems we are both facing enhance the bond between us. We both understand the pain and we both know when to cheer each other up and have a laugh about it. I call her up when I’m down and she makes the funniest joke out of the situation knowing full well that she’s going through the same. We are each other’s shoulders to cry on.
I don’t know about others but I do know that friendship is not always about the good times but the bad as well. We appreciate best friends for the unique benefits they provide which family, romantic, and work-related relationships cannot sometimes provide.
One good quality friendship can make a difference in how you get through difficult times.